Walking through surrender — emotionally, spiritually, relationally
For years, I lived with a quiet ache — a constant, low-grade battle over who I was.
On the outside, I appeared confident. Capable. Composed.
But underneath it all, I carried shame.
Not because of something I had done — but because I never felt like enough.
I was too much for some, not enough for others.
Too spiritual in some rooms, not deep enough in others.
Too driven, too emotional, too soft, too strong.
So, I began shape-shifting — performing different versions of myself based on the environment.
And that’s when I lost sight of who I really was.
🎭 The Weight of Wearing Masks
Shame isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it whispers — through comparison, criticism, or years of unmet expectations.
It tells you to hide the real you because maybe that version isn’t lovable, acceptable, or worthy.
I didn’t realize how much energy I was wasting trying to “manage my image” — curating just enough vulnerability to appear real, but never enough to feel safe.
I equated approval with identity. I assumed if people applauded, it meant I was okay.
But deep down, I was tired. Not just physically — but soul tired.
The more I performed, the emptier I felt.
And eventually, God brought me to the end of myself — not to punish me, but to restore me.
🙏 The Day I Surrendered My Shame
One morning, in quiet prayer, I confessed to God, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
What came next was unexpected.
Not a thunderous rebuke. Not a list of what I needed to fix.
But a whisper:
“You’ve always been Mine — even when you forgot.”
I broke.
I wept.
Because for the first time, I felt seen beyond the performance. Known beyond the role. Loved beyond my resume.
That was the beginning of identity healing.
And it started with surrender — surrendering not just my plans, but my very sense of self.
🧠 Identity Isn’t Built — It’s Revealed
What if the “you” you’ve been trying to create isn’t the “you” God sees?
I used to think I had to build my identity — through success, through branding, through spiritual maturity.
But identity isn’t built — it’s received.
When I laid down the masks and asked God who I really was, I started to hear truth:
- You are loved — before you produce anything
- You are seen — without needing to perform
- You are whole — even if others misunderstood your story
- You are called — even if your past still haunts you
That’s what shame doesn’t want you to know.
That you are already who God says you are — and surrender is how you finally start living like it.
💬 From White Flagging — A Passage That Freed Me:
“True identity is not what you prove. It’s what you surrender into — when you finally stop hiding, striving, and pretending you have to earn what was always freely given.”
Writing that changed me.
Living it restored me.
💥 The Strength On the Other Side of Surrender
Let me be clear: surrender didn’t make me smaller.
It made me stronger — because now I walk in truth, not in fear.
I no longer need to perform to feel secure.
I no longer attach my value to being impressive.
I no longer let shame narrate who I am.
I still have moments of self-doubt. But now I bring them to God, instead of hiding them from Him.
And in that space… I’ve found more peace, more clarity, more freedom than I ever imagined.
If you’re battling silent shame, if you’ve spent years building an image just to feel worthy — I see you.
God sees you more.
🛠️ As we lead up to the August 5 launch of White Flagging: The Surprising Power of Winning by Surrender:
✅ Mark August 5 on your calendar — grab the book for just $0.99
✅ Forward this blog to someone who’s tired of hiding
✅ And remind them: You don’t have to prove who you are — just receive it.
REMEMBER! Only one copy per Amazon account/credit card counts toward bestseller rank
Surrender the shame.
Step into strength.
God is waiting to show you who you’ve been all along.