Walking through surrender — emotionally, spiritually, relationally
For a long time, I believed my greatest battles were with people, circumstances, or even spiritual forces working against my purpose.
But I was wrong. The battle wasn’t external. It was internal.
I was my own enemy.
I didn’t realize it at first. After all, I was driven. Focused. Always aiming for more, doing more, pushing harder. From the outside, I looked like I had it together — productive, prayerful, poised.
But on the inside, I was exhausted. Not because life was too hard, but because I was too hard on myself.
I lived under invisible pressure:
- To perform
- To be strong all the time
- To earn love by overdelivering
- To never disappoint anyone — especially not God
And here’s what I learned the hard way:
You can’t rest when you’re constantly trying to prove you deserve your place.
The Inner Fight
The real war wasn’t with anyone else. It was with myself — the version of me that believed I had to earn worth through perfection, applause, or religious effort.
I wore strength like armor. I weaponized work. I spiritualized striving.
And all the while, I was bleeding internally from unrealistic expectations and the fear of not being “enough.”
I was doing everything for God, but I wasn’t letting Him do anything in me.
Surrender Broke the Cycle
It wasn’t until I fully surrendered that the inner war began to end.
I didn’t just surrender my plans — I surrendered the self-imposed pressure to be everything for everyone.
I surrendered the lie that my value depended on my performance.
I surrendered the image of perfection I had created — the curated version of me that looked powerful but was actually paralyzed by fear.
And when I did, something unexpected happened…
God didn’t scold me.
He embraced me.
He reminded me that I was already enough — simply because I was His.
The Voice That Changed Everything
One night in prayer, I finally asked God, “Why am I always fighting? Why do I feel like I can’t rest?”
His response was gentle but clear:
“Because you still think surrender is failure. But it’s the door to your healing.”
That night, I cried. I repented. I laid it all down — not just the burdens, but the identity I had built around being “strong.”
And in that release, I found something I’d been chasing for years without even knowing it: peace.
You Might Be Fighting Yourself Too
If you’re constantly drained…
If you feel unseen no matter how much you do…
If you’ve lost the joy in what once felt like purpose…
You might be fighting the wrong enemy.
You might be fighting yourself.
And here’s what I want you to know tonight:
You don’t have to.
There is a way out.
There is a way back to joy, clarity, and rest.
It starts with surrender.
White Flagging Was Born from This Revelation
This moment — the one where I realized I was my own worst enemy — became a cornerstone of my book, White Flagging: The Surprising Power of Winning by Surrender.
This isn’t a book of theories. It’s a lifeline for high-functioning hearts who’ve been silently at war within.
And on August 5, it will be available on Amazon for just $0.99.
🛠️ Here’s how you can help share this message of healing:
✅ Mark August 5 to grab your copy and leave a review within 48 hours
✅ Forward this blog to someone who’s secretly tired of pretending they’re okay
✅ Remind others: Only one copy per Amazon account/credit card counts toward bestseller rank
Surrender is not weakness — it’s the moment you stop fighting the false version of yourself… and finally let God love the real you.
You are not alone.
The war is over.
Wave the white flag.