Walking through surrender — emotionally, spiritually, relationally
Conflict is inevitable — but how we respond to it is what defines our spiritual maturity.
Some people lash out.
Some shut down.
Some overexplain.
Some silently withdraw and simmer.
But very few pause in the middle of tension and ask,
“Holy Spirit, how should I respond right now?”
That’s the rare — and powerful — path of spiritual yielding.
😡 My Default in Conflict Was Always Control
I used to believe that being “right” gave me the authority to push.
To correct. To confront. To clarify. To fix.
But what I learned the hard way is this:
Being right doesn’t mean you’re being righteous.
God wasn’t asking me to “win” the argument.
He was asking me to reflect His heart — even when I felt justified to defend mine.
In every conflict, I had a choice:
- Yield to my flesh — or yield to the Spirit.
- Defend myself — or discern what God was actually doing.
- Prove my point — or protect the peace.
And let me be honest — I didn’t always choose well.
🛑 The Moment God Called Me Out
One day, after a heated exchange with someone I loved, I stormed off to pray. I began explaining to God how wrong they were. How they had misunderstood me. How I didn’t deserve the treatment I received.
And in the middle of my passionate monologue, I felt these words press on my heart:
“You’re trying to win the argument. I’m trying to win their heart.”
That moment wrecked me.
I realized I had made being “right” an idol — and it was costing me peace, connection, and trust.
That was the day I started learning the power of yielding.
🕊️ What Does Spiritual Yielding Look Like?
Spiritual yielding in conflict isn’t about silence or passivity.
It’s about alignment — letting God lead your response, not your ego.
It looks like:
- Pausing to pray before reacting
- Choosing soft words over sharp ones
- Asking questions instead of making assumptions
- Being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slower to take offense
- Valuing the person over the point
It doesn’t mean you never speak truth.
It means you speak truth in love — and only when the Spirit leads.
✨ The Surprising Outcome
When I began practicing this, something shifted in my relationships.
Tension diffused faster.
Misunderstandings turned into moments of connection.
People felt safer, and I felt lighter.
Yielding didn’t make me weak — it made me wise.
And slowly, I stopped seeing conflict as a threat… and started seeing it as an invitation:
To show what it looks like to be anchored in Christ, even when everything in me wants to fight.
💬 From White Flagging — A Truth That Grounds Me:
“Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do in a conflict is not to speak louder — but to yield deeper. That’s where peace has a chance to lead.”
That line was written out of real pain. But also real growth.
Because every time I yielded, I saw God move in ways I never could have orchestrated with my strength.
As we walk toward the August 5 release of White Flagging: The Surprising Power of Winning by Surrender, this message matters now more than ever.
We are called to be peacemakers — not peacekeepers.
And peace often begins with surrendering our right to be right.
✅ Mark August 5 to grab the book for just $0.99
✅ Forward this blog to someone navigating tension in a relationship
✅ Remind them: Yielding isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom that heals
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Let’s be the ones who carry peace into every conflict — not because we’re passive, but because we’re powerful enough to pause.
Wave your white flag.
Let the Spirit lead.